I feel like we are improvising, like a jazz musician. Today, the oldest tried night driving, and she had to quickly adapt to conditions at night and going on two highways to pick up her brother from a play date (thanks to that family!!!). We had to adapt to the reality of her driving at night (all of us were terrified, but she was happy with her accomplishment!). She was singing along to Pharrell Williams and having a great time while we were scared for our lives hahaha

We have these fun, joyful moments. Like, we are just happy to be alive!

Other times, things feel so heavy, so we take a walk. We use what we have and stay patient. We pet animals and smile. We dance to a gospel mix (actually that last one is all me, not gonna lie).

We just try to go with the flow even when the pressure seems like it’s TOO MUCH.

We try to move with it, to groove with it. Otherwise, I feel like I can’t breathe, like it’s all too much at once. If I watch the news, I just want to go in the shower and cry, so I try to limit that. I watch PBS and some major networks. My dad likes to watch the news, but it’s just depressing sometimes.

When I had a c-section, I watched a lot of comedies, and that really helped me feel happy and heal faster. I want to watch comedies or inspirational shows, but all my dad wants to watch is news.

So, he wakes up, eats a little bit, has therapy, rests, watches the news, has therapy, rests, eats, has more therapy, rests – you get the idea. I am trying to focus on just one day at a time, but today felt super heavy for some reason. Like, how is this going to work long term? Hence, the walk to World Market (the youngest got a treat). Now, I am watching a show about bear cub rescues (the humans have to dress up as bears to feed the cub so he doesn’t get comfy with humans). That’s the kind of show I wish I could watch with my dad, but right now it’s the kind of show I need to watch in order to watch more news tomorrow!

In that vein, I pray for world leaders trying to make sense of the world and find a compromise that leads to peace.

So — jazz. Just moving and grooving and improvising to the tune we are hearing now.