This month, I attended my 10 year TFA reunion and enjoyed hearing the wisdom of a TFA legend. She talked about going into schools now and feeling like there should have been so much more progress. But we still have so far to go. She came to us and said, to paraphrase, take care of yourself, because this is going to be work you’re going to have to do for your entire lifetime. Prescient words.
Now, almost a week past Election Day, I am betting you are thinking about how we have so far to go as a country (I hope both sides of the aisle would agree). How much work there is to do, you know? So what does it mean to take care of yourself so that you can be part of future American achievements?
In the book The Rhythm of Life, Matthew Kelly writes about working nonstop and basically suffering a breakdown. He came to see and respect the rhythm of life. Translation: that there must be time for rest (actual, regular sleep), meditation/prayer during the day, and a Sabbath at the end of the week.
I know many of the moms out there chuckle at that. I get it. Yesterday, I took all three kids to my daughter’s recital, then to church, and finally to the store. I am still alive, but barely, and that’s what it feels like a lot. How can I “take care of myself?”
Matthew Kelly tells me to stick to a regular bedtime (and then celebrate the victory of getting up as soon as the alarm rings). This can be hard because I love to read and feel like the only time I have to do that is when the kids are sleeping. But I can train myself to stop at a certain time. This is when I think of the lessons from the book The Slight Edge. The author writes about dreaming big and then doing a little bit over a long period of time, and how that little bit adds up. So, for example, if after washing dishes and folding laundry I only read ten pages a day, that’s still a book a month and twelve books a year. If you’re anything like me you think you need to do these gargantuan tasks all at once and that’s simply not true. The truth is, many of us don’t have the emotional energy for big things right now. Only, as St. Teresa once said, small things with great love.
Same thing with exercise. The little you do adds up. And with food choices. Often, it’s just as easy to make the good choice as it is to make the wrong one, as we read in The Slight Edge. I can just as easily get the salmon caesar salad as I can the burger with fries. And does it take that long to fry an egg? Or grab a smoothie? And yet, four out of five days, I am running out the door, happy that the kids ate breakfast and completely oblivious to the fact that I didn’t. I can make time to eat healthy (for me, that’s a revolutionary statement). I am worthy of taking the time to take care of myself. Even when every pizza slice calls my name, I can make time to feed my body well.
I can make time to feed my spirit every morning. Quiet time with God before the kids come knocking. Throughout the day, I can pray, like when I am doing chores or taking a walk with the little guy. And I can set a gratitude alarm on my phone to remember to count my blessings, especially at night.
And what about just saving a little bit over time? That little bit will add up. My friend said something life changing–“pay yourself first.” Ideally, we’d save our first fruits for God, but where do they go now? Rent? Preschool? Kroger, Whole Foods or Target? What if I took the time to save first, just a little, with the first portion saved for God?
Saving money. Saving myself. So that God can use me to do something great. Like taking care of three little kids.
In the book Momnipotent, the author honors the vocation of motherhood, and it’s so refreshing to hear. Even though in the not too distant future, I hope to work outside the home, I am cognizant that my primary vocation is mom, for the rest of my life, and that’s a great honor. What a gift, and I praise God for it! I want to take care of myself so I can be the best mom I can be, y’all. Doing the small self-care actions so that I can do the small things for my kids, everyday. Yes, those little things we do make a difference!
But I know life gets tough and it’s easy to get off track. One of the most profound examples in the The Slight Edge was about the Apollo rocket. Did you know that it was on course only two to three percent of the time? It got to the moon and back because of expert course correction. Am I off track again (as I eat this entire piece of banana bread or bark at my kids)? Time for some gentle course correction. Time to get back on track as I move forward. Lord Jesus, have mercy on me. Help me do better, one little thing at a time.
And when I feel angst because progress ain’t coming soon enough, I will remember the Chinese proverb “Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” Or in Russian, “Hurry slowly” (my daughter has this one down). Easy does it. One step at a time brings us to our destination. And as we build momentum by steady effort, it takes less effort to keep going. “The daily rhythm of the thing starts to change you.”
Here we go with the rhythm thing again. I love to dance, to move with the rhythm, and so do the kids. Amazing that the rhythm of steady positive actions can make me a better person. A better mom. A better me. The steps I am doing in my little dance over here are making my muscles stronger, making me stronger. Because that’s what I can control, and not anyone else. The beat goes on, and I want to keep dancing!
Favorite quotes from The Slight Edge:
“Show up. Show up consistently. Show up consistently with a positive outlook. Be prepared for and committed to the long haul. Cultivate a burning desire backed by faith. Be willing to pay the price. And do the things you’ve committed to doing–even when no one is watching.”
“Every soul alive is capable of great things” just by doing “simple little actions, repeated over time.”
After resting, I can go on a walk. Take a look at nature. Matthew Kelly writes in The Rhythm of Life that “Nature whispers messages to us each and every day: Great things are achieved little by little. . .”
And not just helping to “grow great people” in our work as moms, but also developing our own character, bit by bit. And in our work as educators, we affect change lesson by lesson, conversation by conversation. Slowly but surely. With God’s grace.
And just so in taking care of ourselves, little by little, we give ourselves the resources we need to keep going.
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.