today, I unexpectedly had to spend my day with my youngest. At first, I felt so frustrated honestly because I had made a plan to be with Dedushka. I felt like such a loser, trapped in the house. And then I realized oh this is not only for the good of my youngest, but also for my own good. I needed to be home and rest and eat soup and drink tea and watch Mulan, which is about being loyal brave and true yes, but more than that, it’s about being true to yourself. That’s the winning mentality.

It is difficult for me to be me in my family. I am not a doctor and truthfully I never wanted to be a doctor even though my family always wanted me to be a doctor and did not agree with my choice to be a teacher. But I was being true to myself. Same with my faith. I have to be true to myself. And I know that God has a better plan for my life than I could possibly imagine, a plan not tied to a particular profession. I know He can use my gifts and talents in whichever way is actually best for me and for the world.

Today is a perfect example. I felt like I should be at the hospital, but God said no, actually your child needs you right now, and you need this time with him. We put together a world map puzzle and listened to storybooks online. We talked and we rested. We prayed and we listened to a homily. I talked with a good friend who truly encouraged me. I feel so grateful that God knows better than me what is beneficial for me and the people around me. He knows how to use my gifts and talents for HIS purpose, whatever it may be.