In praying about what my focus will be for 2022, God brought this verse to my mind.  

Matthew 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

I was gonna call this post Grief and Gratitude a la PBS Newshour’s summary of 2021 because that felt so right.  I felt that.  

How was your year? For the pain, I am so sorry that you had to go through that.  And for the moments of pure joy, so thankful that you had those moments!  How is possible to feel grief and yet SO MUCH GRATITUDE for our families and our lives?!!!

But I also want to look forward because y’all, it’s 20-22, baby!  

To look back and learn from the past or at least reflect on it while looking forward, that’s my goal.  Last year had such fulfilling moments juxtaposed with deeply frustrating ones.  

 I think of the time this fall that my class presented to the whole school on the fish in the aquarium and did a good job and then literally started fighting 30 minutes later.  I was like, “Y’all, wow.”  

Girls yelling about how someone was calling another a fake friend.  

A hurting heart.  A presentation wasn’t gonna change that.

All the strategies that I had leaned on to build classroom community were not holding up to address the hurting hearts in the room.  

Having joint projects that kids can practice together and present publicly and be proud of.  Not enough.

Cleaning out the garden.  Feeling the ground when clearing the garden, pulling out weeds and breathing fresh air and working together and making our environment better.  Not enough.  Same day, a kid threw a football at a girl’s back. On purpose.  Hard.  

I couldn’t see where the kid was hurting.  The garden wasn’t enough to heal his pain.  He bowed out of the class project.  

How do we mend a broken heart so that all kids can truly engage? Can truly feel successful and feel happy?

The kids are so smart.  The kid I am thinking about is so smart but loves to avoid work unless it’s one-on-one, teacher sitting down with the student.  

Except there’s one of me.  And one amazing co-teacher in the next room, Ms. Zaree, a real miracle worker.  But no one is supposed to carry the burden of teaching and counseling every single class. And as I am dealing with hurting hearts on one room, she’s dealing with kids with hurting hearts in the next room.  There is an easier class and a harder class, but both classes have  some hurting kids dealing with depression and dealing with anxiety.  

So—therapy.  But there are enough issues in one class to keep our entire school’s SEL team busy all day, y’all.  All day.  

Are there vouchers for therapy for kids?  Asking for 650 friends.

Cuz our counselors need to breathe too so they can persevere.  They have helped our school SO MUCH. So many kids are hurting and so the goal I want for my students is joy.  And we are going to try writing and performing skits about SEL scenarios in their lives (open to any and all suggestions). Let’s practice being kind to each other while also practicing English 😉

The idea is that happiness is each person’s responsibility so how do we engage in things that make us truly happy?

 An amazing retired teacher named Ms. Lacy created a presentation about Hygge—deep happiness fostered through nature walks, cooking, fireplaces, lighting candles, putting on warm socks, wrapping yourself in a warm blanket, and talking with family and friends.  I would also add street fairs and concerts and picnics.

What makes you happy, I want to ask the students. How can we do more of that at school?

I remember interviewing at a Christian school right after my divorce. I had just written on my blog about how I just wanted my kids to be happy.  At the Christian school, there was a lot of scoffing about those pansies who just want their kids to be “happy.”  I wanted to say, well, then you don’t know how much kids hurt during and after a divorce (I will always remember holding my son and weeping together).  Of course you want your kids to be happy.   

I get what the folks were saying in that we can’t just give in to every whim so that kids are happy.  

But how do we have truly, deeply happy kids?  Joyous kids?

Truly happy kids don’t hurt other kids.  They don’t pummel things at someone’s back.  They don’t want to hurt someone else.  They don’t want to fight.  They don’t want to argue all the darn time. They feel proud of themselves and they want to celebrate.  They want to share their happiness with others.  

As a teacher, my goal has always been to give kids a voice and to work together at a group project so that all kids feel like they were sharing and were successful.  So every one feels proud of themselves.  So everyone feels like they contributed to something good.  

But this year, there is trauma from Covid and then going back to how things were before Covid.  What I mean is that last spring, we had Fridays off and lots of time outside.  Lots of breaks.  This year, we went to school as normal.  And the kids weren’t ready.  And the teachers weren’t ready.  

And so when thinking about starting school again there’s a big part of me that feels like I want to go on a six-month-long hike. Want to go? Open to all students and teachers who just need to breathe. We would totally hike all the national parks and I would teach you everything I know and you could teach us everything you know and we could write a book called “Take a Hike: Walking and Learning Together.”  What do you think, Zaree?  Road trip to New York? We have such great students who know so much about the world.

On that note, I have something really important to say.

Students, you are the reason that teachers are persevering.

You are the kids who sent us texts and WhatsApp messages and so much love

 And encouragement this year.  You wished us a Happy New Year and told us how excited you are to see us!  

We are so excited to see you, too!!!

You were the ones doing all the vocab gestures and practicing all the presentations.  At night, you were studying for your tests.  You were kind to other students.  You tried your best to ignore the drama even though that kid was making you so angry.  You chose to move away from them even though it was so hard.  You chose to be committed to your success.  

We see you. 

 We appreciate you.

We love you so much.  

And we want you to be happy, too.  Because you see your classmates acting in the way that they do.  And it’s hard to remember that those kids are walking around with broken hearts and that they ARE GOOD KIDS who are hurting and to have compassion because sometimes your heart feels broken, too.

You hurt, too.

So let’s be peacemakers together.  Let us trust God and do good.  Let us persevere in our race.  Let us not return evil for evil, but overcome evil with good.  Let us forgive each other again and again knowing that we need mercy, too.  We need grace, too!

Let us learn together.  Let us keep working together.  There is so much that we can CREATE together (like the happy little winking egg that my daughter sewed together). BUILD together.  WRITE together. PERFORM together.

Let’s imagine together.

Cuz I am telling you that the whole school needs to work together so that we can be successful.  I know that sometimes you hurt cuz I hurt, too.  

I want you to know that now more than ever we need each other.   Encourage yourself when you feel down.  Exchange your negative thoughts for positive thoughts.  You can make it.  I truly believe in you. Zaree believes in you.  We truly think you can do great things in the this world,  things that would transform our world for the better.

Betty White said she lived so long because of her optimism.  Let’s find the positive together.  Let’s encourage each other.

Hand in hand, let us be peacemakers in 2022.

Love you!