I don’t know about you, but when I have a cold I just want to drink tea and sleep until I feel better.  But sometimes I decide to go to the grocery store with my toddler who also has a little cold.  And the other two wonderful kids. Why making something at home is too gargantuan a task when we are sick is a question for another day.  I have rice.  I have beans.  It’s Lent.  Just put those two together and voilà!  What is the problem?   Apparently, I promised to do something special for St. Patrick’s Day.  We are supposedly going in to get tangerines and green vegetables (and I secretly want fish, but don’t tell anyone).

It starts out well.  I find a whole chicken so I can make soothing chicken soup.  I spot delicious tangerines and oranges (vitamin C!).    The toddler encourages me to get fresh-squeezed orange juice which he loves.  But then the screaming commences.  I get to parade a screaming toddler through the store who wants. . . Bubbles! Only for some reason he is screaming “Butt! Butt!” Bubbles with the butterfly on top?  No, what he really wants is a butterfly catcher!  Pity the fool who will buy a butterfly net at Whole Foods, I think, until I become the fool who just bought a kids’ umbrella.  At Whole Foods.  To be able to walk out of the store with any dignity after actually buying a kids’ umbrella from a grocery store is worthy of a hug from St. Patrick for sure!  Lord, have mercy on my soul.

Before I leave, I remember that I wanted fish.  I go to the prepared foods area and realize there is no prepared fish on a Friday in Lent.  Just cabbage and corned beef.  Under the bright lights in the prepared food area I feel like Pink Floyd, singing “Hello? Is there any fish out there?” Apparently not.  The toddler starts screaming again.  Someone reminds me that Whole Foods has complimentary bananas and apples for kids.  I know that my toddler would throw the apple at this woman  if I offer him a fruit, so I politely decline.  Oh, to be drinking a berry La Croix at home in my bed right now.  I want to be like Maui and just say, “And, I’m out!” and then dive into my imaginary ocean, but instead I am complimenting the heck out of the other two kids because they really have been excellent.  I have just bought a green umbrella for St. Patrick’s Day, but they have kept their composure really well and even remembered to say, “Thank you!” Praise God for them!  (I think the fact that I actually bought an umbrella is a total shock for them as well).  Next time I have a cold, my mantra will be Stay Home (unless you want another green umbrella).

At home, the kids discover that I have cleaned their rooms and the bathroom while in my stay-at-home-sick state.  Delighted to see their clean art desk, the kids make puppets and then make a puppet theater.  Oh, if the give-the-kid-some-fruit lady could see us now. I go from defeated to deliriously happy in half an hour.  And that’s how we do Friday night when I have a cold!  Next time, I will stay home to enjoy a longer puppet show 🙂