What do you do when you put the lessons you teach your kids into practice and the outcome isn’t what you desired?  Life seems like a spiderweb instead of a linear progression of “I do A and get outcome B.”  How do we handle the spiderweb?

During a business meeting this past Friday, I tried hard to identify my party’s interests and offer compromises in line with preserving what is really important to our side while offering Huuuuge! concessions regarding other things.  I got an A+ from the woman in charge but nothing was accomplished on paper because the other party refused to compromise.  It makes you want to pull your hair out.  The lead person said that something good will surely come out of this, but we just don’t know what yet.  I hope so.  You try to be gracious, but when the other person doesn’t respond in kind, it hurts.  It reminds me of something a friend jokingly said recently, “Being good doesn’t get you anything.”  Sometimes, it’s tempting to think that.  Yet, it does get you a lot, even in these intermediate, frustrating stages.  It preserves your dignity.  It shows the other party you care about him or her.  It shows you are going to be firm AND kind. You get the satisfaction of feeling like you tried your best regardless of the outcome.  You persevere in killing them with kindness, the best way to kill them, in my opinion ;o)  And you try to forgive when the other party doesn’t meet you half way.  Let go of your desire to control the process and just offer your best.  As in one of my favorite songs, “What will be will be.  The future’s not ours to see. What will be, will be.”  May God’s will be done.

Press on, Mom!