I recently met with a friend from high school, someone known for her assertive, passionate nature.  I brought Mitya, she brought her son, and as the two boys played in the sand she said, “I am a de-escalator now.”  Meaning, she chooses to de-escalate situations.  To be a peacemaker.  To calm hearts.  Isn’t that what we do as moms, especially when our kids are playing together?  I like that intention.  But my friend didn’t stop there.  She talked about standing her ground on things that matter to her, on rules or boundaries that are truly important.  “I was clear, and he knew I meant what I said.”  I can hear Tom Petty singing, “I will stand my ground.  And I won’t back down.” In a loving way.  In a way that de-escalates the situation, but respects your boundaries.

How to do that?  How to stand your ground calmly and kindly?  I know that for me, it has to do with deep breathing, preferably in a park.  Pray! You say.  Yes, but I still have to slow my mind enough to pray. That’s where deep breathing comes in.

Just breathing in and out.  In the photo I chose for this post, it’s almost like Mitya is telling me to stop worrying and just breathe. Commanding myself, encouraging myself, to breathe deeply. We can do this–being steadfast and kindly firm.  One breath at a time.  Through breathing deeply, we can remember why we are mothering in the first place–to show our children love and encourage them to give their love, their service, to the world.

As the day goes on, we can remember each other and hear our collective deep inhale and deep exhale (that it’s finally nighttime)!

Press on, mom!