I want to share some of my notes with you and then some calming words. I recently read Strong Mothers, Strong Sons by Dr. Meg Meeker.  She encourages moms to be loving and firm, providing and sticking to reasonable rules. She advises us not to take things personally.  “Pretend that he is someone else’s son,” one of her patient’s mom confided.  This strategy helps us get some emotional distance so we can talk to out sons patiently, in a matter-of-fact way.  Every stage requires additional patience.  We let our sons vent but stick to our rules.  To give our boys a sense of purpose, we teach our boys to serve others with their talents.  Dr.  Meeker writes that “boys have to be taught to look outside themselves, by example and by lesson.”  We teach them “that everything they do impacts the lives of others” and “how to love and serve others.”

Here is a key point–to be able to teach our sons, we have to learn to live emotionally balanced lives ourselves, which requires that we rest, love ourselves, and make time to be with God.

This is ironic to me–we can teach our sons by being good, patient examples of loving service.  But we can only be these kinds of people when we give rest, love, and compassion to ourselves.  We have a tendency to over exert and give too much.  Our sons may have a tendency to focus too much on themselves.  To get kids to do the opposite of what they may want to do, we have to do the opposite of what we’re doing.  And it matters that we take the time to care for ourselves because. . . We are the face of God to our sons.

We need to stay patient, but in order to stay patient, we must be loving and patient with ourselves first.  So I decided to get in the car and drive to the ocean one day last week.  I found a perfect spot and looked for seashells.  And as I jammed to country music coming from someone else’s truck, I held Mitya’s hand and we walked in perfect peace, enjoying the ocean.  So what’s a restful day without a little poem?

A mom’s love is like an ocean on a warm, clear day in May. She beckons gently, listening to whatever worn hearts have to say.  Standing strong with arms wide open, she sings Bienvenue! to everyone.  She is warm, reflecting God, dancing with the rays of sun.

As you listen to the waves coming, going, you meditate effortlessly. You laugh away your fears in her frothy waves, smoothing and softening your heart painlessly.

She cares about you.  Wildly generous, she nourishes her young from seagull to the whale. She lets us dive for pearls inside her and helps our ship set sail. There’s not much she won’t let in, absorbing everything.  She rests, gazing at heaven, and helps us forget so we can remember THE thing–love!

Happy Mother’s Day!!!