This holiday season, we rekindle the fires in our hearts.  Even if and especially when we feel sad, we come together with family and friends, light candles, sing songs, decorate trees and gingerbread houses, and express gratitude for what’s good in our lives.  Yes, I feel the watery sadness of painful events in 2016, but I also feel the joy of celebrating life in the midst of the chaos.  And regardless of how I am feeling, I am trying to choose love.

Here’s how I am rekindling the fire:

I rekindle the fire by getting together with friends.  

This week, I sat around the fireplace and chatted with some incredible people (thanks, Kristi!).  I saw college friends this past weekend, and I drove away feeling so happy (thanks, Jen and Marcus!).  The two older kids and I also decorated gingerbread houses with four other families in our neighborhood (thanks, Michele!).  Something about spending time with good people warms my heart.

I rekindle the fire by praying for others.  

Don’t our concerns grow small when we focus on appealing to God for others?  When we focus our hearts on what’s good for someone else?  When we care enough about someone to lift them up to the Lord?  It also reminds us that we are not in control.  And that we owe everything to God.

I rekindle the fire by reading.

I read that “we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)

I learned from Shaken that the Greek word for workmanship is poiema. Poem.  We are God’s poem for the world.

I rekindle the fire by loving.  

My kids are reading my poem-in-action, and I hope they hear more than yelling.

The Mother’s Rule reminds me that I show my love for my kids, and God’s love for them, by the way I treat them. Duh! But the author is right in saying that we often treat adults and strangers with more courtesy than our own kids. I remember a recent moment on a trail with three kids when I was scolding a child and then I saw on old friend and suddenly I was all smiles. Haven’t we all been there? Don’t our kids deserve just as much grace and respect as the awesome person I see once every ten years?

When I am overwhelmed or afraid, I try to remember that love is a choice.  As Tebow writes, love will take you further than fear.  “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18)

So I can encourage obedience but allow the freedom for the child to choose the negative consequence if he wants. No matter what, we can let our children know they are good and mom thinks they’re good.

Holly’s motto is “Mummy means what she says and is willing to enforce it.”  Love that.  It makes it so I keep my mouth shut more because I know if I say something, I will have to enforce it 🙂

When I feel down, I remember from The Mother’s Rule that

“Raising my own children with a Christian worldview was the biggest contribution to society that I could possibly make.”  Because it has an exponential impact.

And now to my least favorite but arguably most important way to rekindle my fire.

I rekindle the fire by creating order.  

Seriously.

I learned this from The Mother’s Rule, too.  What is this treasure trove of wisdom I keep referring to? It’s a book my friends gave me about learning from the monastic orders and creating a schedule for our lives to make room for what matters. Holly, the author (with a name reminiscent of the Christmas season), writes that Home is supposed to be a mini-paradise a la Eden, “a place of beauty and peace and harmony,” where we are lovingly talking with our kids like God talked with Adam and Eve, delegating appropriate tasks, and giving children clear rules to follow.  I have never heard anyone talk about parenting like this.  Have you?  What a cool analogy!

A woman asked Holly on her website how to start implementing the Rule if one has an infant.  Holly suggested setting meal times and working a chore schedule around them.  Next, set prayer times around your nursing schedule.  Finally, declutter your home by putting away everything that you won’t use in a month or so and put all those things in a separate room.  Then, as you have time, go through that stuff.  Seems doable, right?

So, there it is, my friends.  I rekindle my fire by getting together with friends, reading, praying, loving the kids, and creating order.  Because the water, the sadness and negativity, is not going to just disappear, but we can choose to rekindle our joy at the same time.  Can I get an amen?

P.S. Christmas is coming!

The ultimate example of celebrating life in the midst of everything and remembering how much God loves us.

And isn’t that like a fire that doesn’t need logs?  Our joy is already there.  We just have to connect with it, by being with loving people, praying, reading, and loving others (within an orderly home 🙂